I am curious as to the opinions of others as to what is shaping up to be a fairly controversial topic. I have not been blind to the Autism Rights movement, though it has been pointed out to me in a rather forceful and ugly fashion of late, and though its presentation was unpleasant, it does not devalue the merits of the movement itself, and so I feel it is fair to give it some thought.

This is what Wikipedia has to say on the subject: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auti...s_movement

There basically seems to be a divide between autistic individuals who are able to represent themselves and those who seek to represent them. Autistic groups see groups such as Cure Autism Now, and therapies such as Applied Behavioral Analysis as a threat to autistic culture because they seek to remove the autism from the person. Individuals who identify themselves as autistic, however, feel that autism is such a pervasive part of their lives, that to remove autism would be to remove who they are and they do not feel that "curing" autism is correct.

Me, I'm divided, of course. I have recently been accused of standing in the way of the autistic rights movement, simply by virtue of being a parent of an autistic child. I suppose there is an air of "I could never understand what it is to walk a mile in their shoes" to that, and while I certainly see the validity of that sentiment, no one else knows what it's like to walk a mile in my son's shoes, either, and he can't share that experience with anyone, because he can't communicate it. So while I can't say with any certainty what his world is like from inside his head, I live with him, and see him every day and know what his personality is like better than anyone else in his life. Adult autistics who have never met him may share much with him, but they cannot claim to know him.

And I've seen the posters for Cure Autism Now, and we've been through that desperation phase when we were grasping at straws, willing to listen to any snake oil salesman who had convincing testimonials about how their patented technique or methodology had "cured" hundreds of kids. And I've given money to institutions of learning, in particular the ABA school that my son attended in which I felt he had the greatest number of triumphs language-wise. But I've also seen him struggling, unfocused, frustrated. He doesn't head-bang, fortunately, but he has melt-downs occasionally, and there are some stims that give him comfort, and at those times I want to allow him to stim, and melt into his own world and just be himself. I want him to be himself, and I accept that he cannot be separated from his autism. It is a part of who he is and I love him. Autism is a part of my life forever.

However. He cannot communicate, and at almost six years old, we are still wiping feces off of the bathroom walls. Does wanting my child to learn to read or speak or use language in some capacity make me "pro-cure"? Does wanting him toilet trained make me "pro-cure"? Where is the line drawn between trying to educate and raise a child with a disability and trying to eradicate autism from the world entirely? And where is the line drawn between autistics in the autistic rights movement who say "don't call us disabled" and people who are genuinely disabled? You can't tell me my son isn't disabled, and if the state ever got word of that, there goes the half-way decent education they're grudgingly agreeing to pay for anyway.

What I guess I like least of all is that I'm put on the defensive about the whole thing because I'm a parent, not an autistic. Everything I've read has been from the position of autistics who can speak for themselves and it seems to resent people like me, who just want what's best for our children. It seems to think that all we want is for them to fit in and be little stepford children. I have news for you, sweetheart, it's the 1950's anymore. Things have changed. Freaks and geeks are welcome in my world.

Sorry, I know this is really more of a ramble than a coherent question or anything. I guess I kind of needed to vent, but I am also quite interested in what others have to say on the subject, particularly other parents who have had run-ins with autistic rights movers (as I recently have), and especially adult autistics themselves willing to contribute, on both sides of the autism rights divide. I know this little tirade may come across as a bit abrasive, but I am looking into what I really think about it all and am forming opinions. I need as much input as I can get my hands on. Thanks so much!